in Balinese traffic, June 2015
ART/LIFE
How we collect inspiration is crazy. It’s often non-intentional. It happens after the fact. Sure, you may go somewhere or click on something looking to be inspired, but often times, inspiration just hits. Sometimes slaps. You touch your cheek and say “ah! something hit me! what the hell was that? RUDE.”
it’s often not until much later that you realize. Ohhhh, that was inspiration.
I went to Bali because it called me there. I knew I was on a pilgrimage for inspiration, but I didn’t know exactly what I was looking for. (My ego came up with some good reasons, but they turned out (surprise!) not to be the best ones.)
Two years later, the trip is unfolding yet another layer of its purpose in my life. I’m starting to imagine what another album of mine might sound like.
I’m cupping the idea of an album in my hand, like a tiny baby bird. No, not even a baby bird. A zygote of a bird. A cell of a zygote of a bird.
(do birds start as zygotes? too lazy/hungry to check.)
So I was going through all of my voice memos yesterday and realized I have over 20 songs I’ve written or started writing since coming back from Bali.
As I scrolled it was like an arrow was pointing directly from my memos in Bali–where I learned to play Gamelon, straight to the melodies and diddies taking up my cloud space.
It looked like a straight line. But of course, it wasn’t. I didn’t come back from Bali and say “now, I’m going to start writing songs again.” I didn’t say, “now that I’ve had that trip, I’m going to start thinking about another album.”
Something called me to Bali. I didn’t know exactly what. It turned out to be a lot things. A lot of parts of me that needed and wanted to be fed and be spoken to. A deep creative spirit that carried me to the literal other side of the world to be inspired.
So, I did end up coming home and saying, I think I want to start singing again.
Bali made me remember the joy of singing, just to sing. Not to win anything. Not to sell anything. Not to BE. Anything.
Just to sing.
In related news, I’ve been inspired by Solange’s ASATT since she released it back in October. As inspiration would have it, I “randomly” clicked this video yesterday and discovered that we have a very similar songwriting process.
Sooo affirming to discover this. Solange describes her process as ass-backwards, which is exactly how I feel about mine. My perspective, though, kept me from writing for a long time because I felt like I needed to learn to write songs “the right way” before I could really work.
Now I know that truthfully, I just wasn’t ready yet. I wasn’t ready to embrace that the only “right way” is to tune in and listen to your muses, collect “random” things that inspire you years later, and be willing to get slapped from time to time.
AND, there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being ready. Trusting the mystery is crucial to the Creative Process. It’s at the crux of the artist’s life.
RETHINK THE NIGHT
Inspiration plays a big part in how things appear to happen overnight.
But even the night itself has taken so long to become what it is. What we witness is part of its process.
Everything has taken so much time to become what it has.
I may “suddenly” have another album, 7 years from now.
or it may be 2.
or 6 months.
Maybe I will wake up tomorrow and finish an album, record it over the weekend and release it on Monday.
My job–the job of artists is to tune in, pay attention, and mark the inspiration. We are called to build on what we figure out is speaking to us, and stay in conversation with the deepest parts of ourselves until we’re “suddenly” sharing something.
