It’s not Vanity, it’s Politics. (726 Words)

LIFE

One of my succulents appears to be dying, but that’s not what I want to write about today.

I’ve been thinking about the books that have catapulted me forward recently. The first is:

The Four Agreements

Be Impeccable With Your Word

Don’t Take Anything Personally

Don’t Make Any Assumptions

Always Do Your Best

The one I have the hardest time with most often is “don’t make any assumptions.” As I learn to have better boundaries and not automatically tune in to other people’s feelings (overactive empathy, anyone?), I learn that making assumptions–any assumptions about what people think and feel is far more damaging than it is helpful. *See recent election results as evidence.

As women, we’re taught that it is our “natural state” to be feeling for other people and doing their emotional work (though it’s impossible to perform other people’s emotional labor for them, we’re not taught this). <—And I do realize that I’m making an assumption in this parenthesis, please tell me if I’m wrong.

We’re taught, for the most part, to help other people open to their humanity. Women are taught that it’s our job, and that that job is one of the few things that makes us culturally valuable in patriarchy.

Wrong.

What I know now is that it’s exhausting to be feeling other people’s feelings “for them.” I’m sure it has contributed to my diminished health—fatigue and compromised immunity—for years. (For later posts…)

The Four Agreements is simple and good for helping to undo things in your life you no longer want to agree to interpersonally and culturally, and so far, I’ve found that replacing those undone agreements with one of the four above works every time.

STYLE

Photo by Bella Zhornist

                                                              Photo by Bella Zhornist

My new roommate took this picture of me during our impromptu kitchen meeting. Bella Zhornist is a young, vibrant, talented addition to my life. You’ll likely be seeing her work on this blog, a lot. We talked about which eye we naturally close when we’re looking at the world and what that might mean.

Last night, I also continued my research about capsule wardrobes. I decided to glance through photos of other lifestyle bloggers examples and steal ideas for my own. One quick google search later, I decided that I’m not going to make a capsule, I’m freestylin off of instinct, practicality and:

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.  This book is still Queen for me when it comes to downsizing. Nothing is better than only keeping things that you bring you joy. Another great way of saying the same thing is something I learned from my research last night: only keep the things in your closet that you feel great in. Like, GREAT. No excuses.

Last night I got rid of:

  • 2 pairs of jeans
  • 3 Vintage Dresses
  • 2 sweaters

This minimizing project is important to me—not just because my style has changed and I want accurately reflect myself in the world, but also because I’m more serious about my politics. Through my self-empowerment process, I now understand that every single choice I make in my life matters including what I choose to own and what I don’t. Including what I choose consume and what I don’t.

Above all is what I choose to believe is a choice.

What would happen if we all thought this way? That’s what keeps me pruning in my closet.

It’s not vanity, it’s politics.

Which brings me to book No. 3, Sacred Success: A Course in Financial Miracles. The most impactful book I read this fall. It gave me the perspective and perceived permission to think about how I give my power away to people and things (i.e. Retailers!) and allow them to decide how I will live my life.

The books asks, “Do you want to be a consumer, or a wealth-builder?”

Well, I mean, c’mon! A Wealth-builder! Duh!

So, are your choices reflecting that?

Um, no. Not really.

…

I now ask myself this question before I buy most things—unless its food. We’ll get there with food.

What other books?

I’m 30 min and already fully on board.